You ever been through so much in a short while that it seems everything is just piling up and one of these days you are going to reach your breaking point. It has happened to me before, the most severe was three years ago, I wasn't in such a good place. I was smiling fine, trying so hard not to get on the bad side of people and just living, but I wasn't really happy, by God's grace I overcame it and God opened my eyes to learn from that situation.
Life can be challenging, especially when it feels like you are under so much pressure to do your best for something. Or it could be you just merely facing one problem, and before you are out of one you've entered another and then it becomes so much that you feel choked. You wanna cry, you may even want to cry in public but something holds you back, maybe your pride. You may even be one to not talk to people alot, so its worse because you keep it all in. Sometimes you sleep and wake and just want everything to be over.
I came to realise something, the first time you are hit by a storm and instead of talking it out in prayer, but choose to stay right there to make sense of it and keep being gloomy about it, it will to pile up. Then another one comes and same thing and then another comes and they just keep piling up. You keep arranging burdens to bear for yourself on your back.
The reason why this happens is because we let go of the place of trusting God and letting him bear our burdens, even when we know he handles them well. The devil lies that we are more capable to carry our own problems but as a Christian you are no longer of yourself but of God. You feel that particular care is too humane for God to handle or we trust God for a minute and let go the next. I have also come to realise that most burdens we chose to carry are based on us forgetting who we are in Christ. What's in the world or what the world has to say about you is not true, deep down we know it's not true but we believe it and keep a grudge that it was said. Greater is the one you have in you and what he has given to you in him.
We forget peace is what God has freely given us. Happiness is what God has given us but we still have to choose it. God has given us the free will to choose what we want. While we are still in our perishable bodies, we will face so many trials. But then the've become God's yoke to bear not ours. Sometimes what's pushing you is right under your nose that you can't seem to get past it. But have you prayed for wisdom on how to go about it? Have you left it onto God. Have you poured out your heart to the person God wants you to pour it out to? Are you letting go and forgiving who ever offends you?
You are free to cry but after those tears understand that God can never leave you.
Things happen that may want to take away our happiness, in fact, you may even become unhappy but realizing that you are not holding on to your happiness in Christ and choosing to be happy is all that matters.
Sometimes we are so used to worrying that even the little things that never made you worry now have your attention. Take a moment to breath and pray. If you need to talk to somebody do so. I may not be able to solve your problem with this writeup but talking to God about it will help you.
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